Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The First Date

Okay, first of all, I'm not going to talk from a "Know-it-all" point of view. What you are about to read are just my careful observations and suggestions, made after studying several first-date situations and doing some research....

A lot has been said and done with regard to preparing and going through that first date with someone who, for relatively obvious reasons, is unknown; physically speaking.
The question in the minds of many, especially the first-timers in love is "What should I do when preparing for and/or going through the first date with that guy/girl?"
Here are a few pointers that aim to satisfy the answers required for such a question about that first date:

(1) Be Honest With Yourself
It has been a common practice, especially with some individuals who use social media (e.g. Facebook, Twitter) as a source of interaction, to put up, or rather upload photographs or pictures depicting people who are anything but their true representation. For instance, many a time it is found that a guy who is advanced in years puts a photo of a gender-mate who is younger and more 'good looking' than he; or, on the flip-side, a lady who hasn't been "blessed" with features that would make any guy go "ga-ga" uploads a picture or pictures of one who would be said to have the finest of body features, all in an attempt to deceive members of the opposite gender, as far as appearance is concerned. All this deceptive agenda works against the individual concerned in situations where it reaches the point of going for that (awaited) first date. This is especially so when one is dealing with a person who has put high expectations of his/her perceived date's appearance as far as the uploaded photo is concerned.
When such expectations are present, it is more often than not a case of severe disappointment when the one of the two people involved in that date does not look as 'good' as they did on their uploaded internet profile photograph. In some instances, some resort to reactions that would otherwise be considered as 'harsh' or 'uncalled-for'.
These deliberately conscious deceptive acts that occur during over-the-net interactions have reasons specifically known to the individual, but their effects have the potential to adversely affect the concerned friendship in the aftermath of the first date, or meeting. Perhaps in awareness of this, some people avoid this by simply putting photos of a celebrity or some influential figure of society.
The best known remedy to this deception and its effects, is to be honestly proud of who you are and the features you were naturally blessed with. As boring or as cliche as it may sound, that initial honesty will go a long way, and will be returned by the person you meet, with an additional benefit of true appreciation.
Take yourself as you are, and apply the same to the person you meet!

(2)  Relax!
The effect of this factor can never be under-estimated nor can it be over-stated.It is said that some people can tell a lot about a person within the first 5-10 minutes of meeting them or by looking at the person's shoes; and that the first impression matters a lot. That means, if you meet someone for the first time, and either of you acts all clumsy or too nervous and/or quiet around you, the possible impression that sticks to memory is one of being care-free or shy towards people; or if the person talks a lot, never gives you enough time to express yourself or interrupts you abruptly, the impression given out is one of over-confidence, rowdy and rude. Traits that should be avoided, if at all the intention of meeting is to grow the progressing friendship into something more; like a romantic relationship.
Like the first factor, the best thing to do while on the first date or meeting, is to completely be yourself, relax, and let the meeting flow as it naturally should.
Oh, and for those who apply the "first 5-10 minutes" and even the "shoe appearance observation" rules ease off on the judgmental stuff

(3)  Don't Put The Cart Before The Horse
This one is for those people who go to a first meeting wit someone wanting, or expecting events that should happen much afterwards to happen on that first meeting. For example, some may want the person to jump into bed with them after that first date or even form some kind of romantic bond right there and then, especially when the meeting is between two friends who, until then, have never met physically.
The effect of such things is often a huge dent or severe damage to one's reputation The exception applies to those who may agree beforehand to have those 'strings' attached to the first meeting.

(4) Compliment Your Date
I know this one sounds corny, but like honesty, its effect goes a very long way. It can help build self-esteem of the person you're meeting, and even ease the tensions that may spring up during the initial moments of the meeting quite a bit.
Tip: Do not under any circumstances or for any reason go fishing for compliments. The situation will most likely work against you!

(5) Smile and Be Courteous
For those who have a habit of looking like they've been hit on the face, or are not used to doing it often, this one is especially for you. Increase your friendliness level, you'll be surprised at what you achieve. The best way to start and get used to it; make the mirror your best friend when you're alone somewhere at home...

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