Friday, October 21, 2011

Managing After A Break Up

As we all know, breaking up isn't really a walk in the park, regardless of whether you are the one initiating the break up or on the receiving end of it all. But what matters is how you handle yourself after or in the event of a break up.
One of the most important things to keep in mind is that a break up of any romantic relationship is NOT the end of you or the end of the world, and it will never be. In order to make it through the healing process successfully, each individual concerned should take time to re-assess themselves, as the healing process is basically a time of re-discovery of oneself as one gets over the feeling and desire of having the other person next to them or close to them in the event of spending "quality time" together.
Many people usually go through this period with a huge lump in their throat, feeling so low and depressed. In some cases, the person starts experiencing suicidal feelings and thoughts, especially if the one they loved was held so dear and close to their heart. It has been said, even by medical professionals that the depressive feeling one gets during such a time should not be left to sink down to the level of contemplating suicide, as that state of mind would require urgent medical intervention. In order to avoid this pitfall, one should always think and be positive.
Another thing to keep in mind is that, after any break-up, nothing that's said or done will ever make the relationship go back to how it used to be during the happy times. Some couples may try and re-unite, but for most cases, this attempt ends up failing, sometimes to a worse extent than the first time. To be safe, the analogy "once a mirror is broken, don't try picking up the broken pieces, as you may hurt yourself (more) in doing so" should be effectively utilized and implemented. One may argue out the point of the two individuals remaining as friends, but you can't really rule out the definite possibility of resentment existing between the two parties, especially in the case of the one who was on the receiving end of it.
Last but not least, and most importantly to be successful in surviving a break up, one should first take time to find forgiveness, both for themselves and for the person who caused the hurt in the heart. Strive to be more social in interacting with people. Be sure to go out and make new friends, as this will heavily increase your chances of finding a new partner, that is if one still has the desire for it. Avoid going for a person who has similar personality traits, or a similar character as the one from the broken relationship. The situation may or may not work in your favour. Be spontaneous and try new things! Go for a person whose likes are quite different from yours and see what comes out of it, because sometimes difference can be exciting. The importance of this statement can never be underestimated: always THINK and BE POSITIVE, especially when meeting new people and gaining more friends.

And lastly, to all those who give up on love after a failed relationship, this one is for you...
There is joy in loving yourself, but be sure not to enclose yourself in your own world. Find time to heal, forgive yourself and whoever you were in love with for anything and everything negative or bad that happened. Don't be afraid to let someone get close to your heart. If at all you decide to say a permanent "No" to love and romance, then it may be best to settle for a number of close friends, even from the opposite gender, for the purpose of having someone you could always turn to whenever you have a bad day or time in your life.
In all that you think, say or do, above all, never forget your Creator. He is and should be your best friend, for He alone knows you the most, and in spite of everything that happens to you, He will get you safely through those bad days ands nasty moments in your life.