Friday, October 21, 2011

Managing After A Break Up

As we all know, breaking up isn't really a walk in the park, regardless of whether you are the one initiating the break up or on the receiving end of it all. But what matters is how you handle yourself after or in the event of a break up.
One of the most important things to keep in mind is that a break up of any romantic relationship is NOT the end of you or the end of the world, and it will never be. In order to make it through the healing process successfully, each individual concerned should take time to re-assess themselves, as the healing process is basically a time of re-discovery of oneself as one gets over the feeling and desire of having the other person next to them or close to them in the event of spending "quality time" together.
Many people usually go through this period with a huge lump in their throat, feeling so low and depressed. In some cases, the person starts experiencing suicidal feelings and thoughts, especially if the one they loved was held so dear and close to their heart. It has been said, even by medical professionals that the depressive feeling one gets during such a time should not be left to sink down to the level of contemplating suicide, as that state of mind would require urgent medical intervention. In order to avoid this pitfall, one should always think and be positive.
Another thing to keep in mind is that, after any break-up, nothing that's said or done will ever make the relationship go back to how it used to be during the happy times. Some couples may try and re-unite, but for most cases, this attempt ends up failing, sometimes to a worse extent than the first time. To be safe, the analogy "once a mirror is broken, don't try picking up the broken pieces, as you may hurt yourself (more) in doing so" should be effectively utilized and implemented. One may argue out the point of the two individuals remaining as friends, but you can't really rule out the definite possibility of resentment existing between the two parties, especially in the case of the one who was on the receiving end of it.
Last but not least, and most importantly to be successful in surviving a break up, one should first take time to find forgiveness, both for themselves and for the person who caused the hurt in the heart. Strive to be more social in interacting with people. Be sure to go out and make new friends, as this will heavily increase your chances of finding a new partner, that is if one still has the desire for it. Avoid going for a person who has similar personality traits, or a similar character as the one from the broken relationship. The situation may or may not work in your favour. Be spontaneous and try new things! Go for a person whose likes are quite different from yours and see what comes out of it, because sometimes difference can be exciting. The importance of this statement can never be underestimated: always THINK and BE POSITIVE, especially when meeting new people and gaining more friends.

And lastly, to all those who give up on love after a failed relationship, this one is for you...
There is joy in loving yourself, but be sure not to enclose yourself in your own world. Find time to heal, forgive yourself and whoever you were in love with for anything and everything negative or bad that happened. Don't be afraid to let someone get close to your heart. If at all you decide to say a permanent "No" to love and romance, then it may be best to settle for a number of close friends, even from the opposite gender, for the purpose of having someone you could always turn to whenever you have a bad day or time in your life.
In all that you think, say or do, above all, never forget your Creator. He is and should be your best friend, for He alone knows you the most, and in spite of everything that happens to you, He will get you safely through those bad days ands nasty moments in your life.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Making That Relationship Work

Relationships as we know them have existed in our world from the beginning of time, and have evolved slowly taking into effect rapid societal changes. People get into relationships for different reasons; some may be personal, others may be for financial gains. In these modern times, one would be forgiven for getting confused about what, or even how successful, inter-personal romantic relationships work. Here are my points and ideas as to what makes a successful relationship.

This is one aspect of relationships that is mostly taken for granted. Given its importance, it is the third quality after mutual love and trust. The power of communication in any romantic relationship cannot be under-rated, neither can it be under-estimated. Both parties need to be on the same page about almost everything that pertains to the relationship. You cannot expect a relationship whereby especially a married couple sleep next to each other but the most they say to one another is "Good morning", "Goodnight", "I love you" and "Have a nice day dear/honey/baby/sweetheart"; and in the case of a family, only say more than the above to each other when talking to their kids. It just doesn't work that way! There needs to be more investment and emphatic effort by both partners put into communicating with each other.

Support each other's needs
Many relationships begin to deteriorate and wither away simply because either or both partners refuse to or don't do enough when it comes to caring for each other's needs; be it financial, emotional, sexual or even spiritual. In some cases, the cause of all this may be linked to a significant lack in the area of communication. Which goes to say that for this aspect to work, adequate communication is required

Compliments! Compliments! Compliments!
Like communication, the effect of compliments in any romantic relationship can never be under-estimated. They tend to make one feel loved and appreciated by his/her partner. One should always take the time and effort to throw a compliment to his or her partner from time to time, even for the smallest thing. But try not to exaggerate them, or you'll end up looking fake and sounding unoriginal. For the gentlemen, take time to notice and pin-point the smallest changes that your girl makes, for example if she changes her hairstyle, which is something that the ladies often complain about the men in their lives don't notice.

Spend time together
Couples should always strive to spend and enjoy time being next to each other. This goes hand in hand with sharing house chores for the married couples. On different occasions, couples should try and create time to go picnicking, to the movies or even to the park just the two of them. However mundane or cliche this may sound, it should be remembered that when it comes to love, it is the simplest of things that count the most. There is still an open option of finding more creative ways of enjoying each other's company, and in doing so let it be a way in which the bond between both partners becomes even stronger.

Well, these are my four points and ideas as to how to make any romantic relationship become successful. There may be others that I may have left out, but I leave it to you, dear reader to point out via your comments any other important point that has been left out.