Saturday, December 29, 2012

Sex and The Perfect Mate

Walking along the streets in many places around the world, many are the times you will find magazines at news stands touching on love and relationships, several of them being predominantly feminine-based magazine brands. And within some of these many magazine covers are some articles touching on the male gender, issues to do with sex and sometimes, what to look fr in a potential partner.
It is arguably true that many of the articulated issues on males target women in general, but in some arm-twisting way, these writers also aim to hopefully reach the male gender in form of boyfriends and ultimately, husbands. Also, not to be left out are the single menfolk who may "stumble-upon" these magazines in some way.

A large percentage of today's magazine world has been invaded with what I could call the "sex-obsession". Too many writers are literally obsessed with the topic of sex to the extent that they spend their time researching on different aspects of the subject matter. The result of this endeavour; article titles such as "10 Best Sex Positions" "10 Ways to Leave Him Wanting More" and so on.

It is of little wonder then that a female as young as 12 years of age wold classify "good bed performance" as being one of her desired qualities in a boyfriend, considering the fact that the society is slowly but surely deeming it 'normal' for a girl even as young as 10 to lose her innocence and feel totally nothing afterwards. Sex and sexuality has gradually taken over the reins of relationships today. Many are finding and dumping partners in close succession based on how bad or how good they perform between the sheets.

In reality however, this type of background is what breeds the infamous sex-addicts. A man, or woman for that matter who lives out her love life that way will most likely be a victim of depression at some stage of life. Another risk that is posed by such a lifestyle is the infection or contraction of STI's and STD's, most common of them being HIV/AIDS.

So, what then should be the factors to consider when finding that perfect mate?

For starters, there isn't really any such thing as a 'perfect mate'. Every person has imperfections that are unique to their own personality, and it is upon anyone who attempts to enter the individual's life to accept these imperfections, as it is said  by some that an aspect of  true love is loving an imperfect person perfectly. I guess that saying was more of a leaf borrowed from the Christian faith,with regard to how God loves humankind.

Below are some tips that one should consider when searching for that potential mate:

Similar Interests
Many individuals go into relationships without first finding out whether the person they are getting involved with has anything in common with them or whether the person has similar life goals and dreams. This is one huge mistake that often leads to huge heartbreaks and it could lead to major clinical depression if done repetitively.

Compatible Personalities
People with similar personalities tend to click much faster than those who have parallel personalities. Most tend to get along very well and have fewer conflicts or arguments. There is peace in the home for the married couples. Mutual respect and understanding is definitely a bonus point here!

Sense of Humour
This aspect tends to either be underrated or under-stated. Okay, it is no necessary that both partners involved need to have this quality in plenty (though it would be an added advantage, to spice up the relationship with much fun). One partner's sense of humour could fill the void and make up for the other's shortage (or lack, thereof), hence make the relationship worthwhile.

Emotional Sensitivity
By this, I do not mean the tendency to break down to a tearful state, no. It implies that each partner should individually have the ability to look out for the other's emotional needs and consequently be able to rise to the challenge of meeting those needs, without being or appearing to be condescending in any way. This is because when one partner has this quality and the other doesn't, the one who lacks may resort to taking unfair advantage of the partner that has this quality, thereby leading to a decrease in the degree of love, especially on the part of the victim. More often than not it has been a sad reality that the female gender has been on the receiving end of the aforementioned unfairness. A factor that truly needs to change for the better.

With these few points in mind, it is, or would be much easier to find and maintain a long, mutually fulfilling relationship and marriage, if it gets to that point. Sex is or would then be re-positioned to its truly right place of being a method of expressing love between individual couples, rather than be a qualifier for a relationship.